While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
After twenty minutes of this, Tim stands up and raises his right hand, his fingers pinching a pick — the sign that he wants it quiet because has something to say. “This is a five star riff. All we’ve gotta do is take this five star riff, add some five star vocals, five star drums, and we’ve got ourselves a Rock Band hit.”
For six minutes, one can practically see the blocks descending from behind the upper velvet curtain and settling atop the heads of the brass section. A box appears to the right of the stage, beyond the percussion on the raised platform, that visualizes the next shape in the series: a block, a zag, a zag, a line. A tally appears in the gilded ceiling of the concert hall, rocketing upward as a Tetris clears the horn section out of existence.
A Rhode Island School of Marine Biology poll shows Endless Ocean to be least popular amongst shipwrecked Americans; Locom Ocean, most popular.
Grace thought about the long nights Ralph spent in that chair – nights she’d never witnessed, but had heard about firsthand from her daughter. She imagined him shirtless, maybe pantless, with beer cans and cigarette butts crushed around him, his mouth agape and smeared in fried chicken, the clanks and clacks of medieval warfare assaulting his ears, his back vibrating and his intestines releasing gas at random intervals, as he shouted racial epithets at a blinking television screen.
“Yeah, man, I’m gonna’ nail that redhead, Kathy,” Garrett told Hardcasual on Friday, “I just need to lose a few pounds. Luckily, my buddy works at the health food store and he hooked me up with these detox pills. This should totally clean my system out.”
WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.
I know you’ve been good to me in the last year: I’m one of the finalists for Market Watch’s CEO of the Year, I’ve got soaring revenues…but EA? Seriously?
South Korea, known for an exceptionally high national APM rating (actions per minute), now stands like an ant hill, a barren exterior enclosing a population busying beneath with menial labor. But while an ant colony’s actions provide for the greater good, these South Koreans engage in self-centered Player vs Player matches, unflappable in their pursuit of nothing more than a commendable win/loss ratio.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Recounting my story so far, I feel a large chunk of my memory is missing. Ever since Professor Layton brought me those roses, and our train went into a dark tunnel, I can’t seem to recall even the simplest of puzzles without the headaches starting again. It’s almost as if…no…wait.
No other instrument leads to as much self-destruction as the drum kit. Rock Band 3 ought to put a timer in the corner that slowly ticks towards zero, making it abundantly clear that from the moment the drummer sits down, it’s only a matter of time before Death comes to claim him.
“It’s time to look forward,” Gould said, “I cast aside my old name that alluded to a pill-popping, make believe ghost chasing, giant puzzle of life running type of man.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.