What would the level-headed Chomsky have to say about this? That’s right: “You never need an argument against the use of violence, you need an argument for it.” Well, Noam I can think of one good argument: the Japs started it! How ‘bout that, YOU PUSSY?!?!
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Man, there’s nothing quite like that post-Oscar’s Monday morning hangover. Despite being estatic that the Hurt Locker won, we here at Hardcasual are feeling a little confused this morning by a few things. Like, why wasn’t Eddie Murphy in the In Memorium? And why did Steve Martin say that Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire was a good adaptation of the video game? Did he even play that thing?
The old dwarf Billford reaches deep beneath Estragos’s outstretched wing and pulls out a small amber ring. He holds it up to the sun, squeezing his left eye shut. “It will instill fury in your heart,” he grumbles, “and protect thyself from scalding hot flame. It also appears to make your horses run slightly faster.” A silent moment passes, and everyone in the clan raises their hand.This is going to take all day.
“This is not how we wanted to shoot my cover image, and you know … there were a lot more photos we wanted to shoot, maybe some where I smile or growl or somethin’, but we won’t be able to accomplish that because, wherever I go, this fly keeps landing in my eye… makes it sort of look like I’m crying,” said Tebow. “Can you imagine? Me? Crying? Like a baby?”
The team delighted in watching the outraged maws of the internet snap endlessly. It’s the only thing that gives them any pleasure anymore; they couldn’t get enough of watching commentators react poorly to their stunts, and, in reacting, doing exactly what the stunt intended for them to do. It was better than sex.
“I’d say it’s a sun stain, like an effect from exposure,” said Seabald, confused and distraught about the damage done to his box cover. “But I can’t remember the last time we brought this thing out for a party. I imagine it’s just been sitting in the dark the last five years.”
“Seriously, honey, this would be a really fun way for us to spend a little more time together, if you’d just take it seriously. I mean, think how nice it would be if you were really great at Rock Band. And, I think, with a lot more practice, you could be. But you’re going to need a lot more work before you get there. A lot. So… Maybe while I’m out at the bar on Sunday, you should do that.”
When the dust has settled, the end boss is the size of a skyscraper, with glowing orbs of every color circling around him. He is a naked, platinum God, draped in symbols with the faces of lions and snakes. Our hero brushes the dust off her leather pants and says something disparaging. How is she supposed to take down an enemy a thousand times her size? One shoe at a time!
Hardcasual prides itself on a one year legacy of providing readers with AAA content on a daily basis and believes, in the case of Hardcausal’s Splinter Cell Conviction Joke, a few extra months in development will allow for that legacy to continue.
When Janna moved here six months ago with big dreams of becoming a professional journalist, there was no way she could have predicted that she’d spend seven hours a day behind her desk, answering the phone every twenty minutes or so, living the life she used to live back home….on a farm that exists only on Facebook.
Detroit, Michigan
Gordon Freelander spotted chasing paparazzi off his driveway, who were snapping pictures of him as he fixed up his cherry red 1976 Ford Mustang.
He doesn’t go to church! So it’s like his prayers are part of some made-up Manson Family cult. If that cult’s only membership requirement is to be embarrassingly bad at Power Cruising.
10.) Achievement unlocked: “Virgin 2.0”
9.) Don’t you hate grinding.
8.) Shh! My raid can still hear us!
7.) How do I invert your Y-axis?
6.) I call it “Active reloading.”
Pokemon number 185 stares at the television with black, beady eyes. It’s firmly planted on the navy blue rug and looks like it hasn’t budged in days. It has a permanent smile on its face, but I can tell there’s no joy left inside that rock hard trunk. Only emptiness.
Dalaran, 23:10 GMT
As they washed Hippogryph shit out of their Tier 7 helms, two tauren adventurers promised themselves that they’d never exchange jewelcrafting tips beneath a flight path ever again.