While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Which brings me to my reason for dissolving our relationship. I’m sorry, but his games are bigger than yours. They have better control, they last longer, and, unlike yours, they’re smooth, not crooked and blocky. I know, I told you your games were smooth and big, but they’re not. They’re crooked and block and short. And rarely do I even feel like playing them to the end.
I was so engrossed with leveling my new Dranei paladin that I stopped feeding my dog. I thank my lucky stars that I have such attentive neighbors, who noticed his emaciated condition and alerted the authorities just in the nick of time. (To put him down.)
10.) Achievement unlocked: “Virgin 2.0”
9.) Don’t you hate grinding.
8.) Shh! My raid can still hear us!
7.) How do I invert your Y-axis?
6.) I call it “Active reloading.”
It’s Street Fighter II Turbo, with a new, beautiful coat of paint, and what’s not to like about that? Well, there are a few things. Just like you now have to see Al Roker’s pores (yechhh), there are some details that you may not have noticed before about the Street Fighter II characters that are more than a little… disturbing.
Tank no vote in election. Tank too busy writing ‘HELP’ on roof of building to vote. Tank no scared of much, but tank wary of big government, unless big government use helicopter to save tank when he stranded on roof. But that no happen.
But we’ve been doing our detective work here at Hardcasual, and for us, that means sitting back and thinking “What would Ghostwriter do?” And we think we’ve figured it out – “A Next Metal Gear” isn’t just broken English. It’s not another sign that perhaps Hideo Kojima may not have the best grasp on how to put a sentence together, let alone an epic narrative. No, in all the genius that is Kojima, he’s constructed… an anagram.
Looks like Gamestop has finally fixed Chrono Trigger DS’s goofy description.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Stepping into the taxi cab, I vow to hold my breath until I reach my destination. Strangely, the cabbie is not smoking a cigar and refuses to call me “Mac”. “Take me to Lefty’s bar,” I tell the driver. “I’ve never heard of that place,” he responds. How can there not be a Lefty’s bar anywhere in Florence? I suppose Hank’s Nascar Drinkway will have to suffice.
But Quizno’s Pays Minimum Wage!: Buy three games that your Xbox Live friends have already had for over a month.
“Look at this. There’s been a seven degree rise in temperature over the past year alone. No wonder Glacius lost! He was being baked alive by greenhouse gasses,” says Dr. Pritch. “We killed him with our dependence on fossil fuels!”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.
