While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
The game itself has been banned in most African countries since 1998. Despite being banned and condemned by religious leaders who claim that the game promotes gluttony and trivializes the spirit world, lines to play the one Pac Man machine still operating in Harare have grown exponentially over the past two weeks.
As you may know, Hardcasual is owned by Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud, Saudi Arabian oil prince and occasional enthusiast-press dabbler. So, when Christmas came around this year, Hardcasual asked for the gift that made the most sense for us: a real website that people actually read.
Murphy, playing the role of Louis in the fast-tracked adaptation, was struck by a massive concrete slab and thrown from a helicopter in the film’s penultimate scene. Paramedics arrived on the scene immediately, but were unable to revive him, as first aid on the scene consisted entirely of large rolls of bandages.
It’s not until it’s too late when I realize the guy I like has some warped fantasy of dressing me up like Cloud or Ash or who-the-eff-ever and having his way with me on a bed peppered with hentai he photocopied at the library.
An elderly man ran the red light outside my post office at 11:17 this morning. I followed the elderly gentleman through a red light, and used my Cavalcade FXT to force his Blista Compact into Middle Park Lake. I have reason to believe the man drowned, because I held his face under water until his body went limp.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Anyone who doubts the incredible power of the Predator needs only to watch the excellent documentaries Predator and Predator II. Both films show the Predator as an experienced hunter who will stop at nothing to eliminate his prey – much as I have lead the charge to save our streets from the scourge of hard-working Mexican immigrants.
11:43 PM — A frazzled mother who had been in line for over an hour asked the two teenagers in place behind her to “save her place” while she “checked on her baby in the car.”
Only six copies of the materia have been located across Gaia. Though the summoned Badasx Aeris does not actually serve any function in combat, reports show that diehard fans of the martyred flower girl from Midgar are gathering in taverns and summoning her as many as fifty times an evening.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.
