While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Charlie was astonished when Morhaime opened the vault door. He had never seen so many cubicles in his life! “This is where we make the magic. Go ahead, touch any of the employees. They’re real. Just don’t ask them to stop working.”
“I’m deeply sorry to my fans and my family, and anyone else who I may have hurt through my reckless quest to quench my thirst,” Mr. Wendel says. “I recognize that my actions have ramifications and hope that in time you will find it in your hearts to forgive me. I feel like I’ve fragged each and every one of you.”
According to a report on the incident by the Irvine Police Dept., none of the three had a history of depression or psychosis except Erik’s brief stint on Lexapro during the late 1990s.
Some may say that the writing in Red Faction: Gorilla is “lacking in depth,” or that it “may have been written by a seven-year-old whose only knowledge of a gorilla came from a ripped up ZooBook.”
Evan Williams, the CEO of Twitter, told us, “We always hoped that Twitter would give games journalists a platform to express themselves. To express themselves as racist, homophobic, gossip-mongering twats with a desire to profit off the dead. We also added the favorite feature for the possibility that someone could call a dead person ‘a plastic chunk of child molestor’, which is both offensive and horrible, and yet the best possible use of Twitter.”
The placard placed in front of the coat hanger peripheral says nothing more than “Coat Hanger Add-On, Release Date TBD.” The object itself is attached to the standard Wiimote, plugged in at the bottom of the device where the nun chuck is typically inserted. Hanging from it is a pair of snazzy brown slacks.
Tehran is the largest city in the Middle East. It has the second largest population in the world with 18,587,453 people. It is home to hundreds of historic mosques, churches, synagogues and Zoroastrian fire temples, all of which will realistically crumble into nothingness when blown up with an RPG.
LaBeouf and I had convened earlier that night for drinks. The young actor, a long-time fan of Hardcasual, candidly dished about behind-the-scenes shenanigans on his latest film, Transformers: Rise of the Robots. But LaBeouf, an otherwise genial young-man with a passion for toilet lid artistry, got salty when conversation clandestinely turned to Boom Blox.
“I told Steven [Spielberg] I refuse to do another Indy until he quits the childish shit,” says LaBeouf. We laugh, thinking this must be a joke, but LaBeouf continues, “You wanna know how the hardcore play Boom Blox? Real explosives. City blocks.”
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
What would the level-headed Chomsky have to say about this? That’s right: “You never need an argument against the use of violence, you need an argument for it.” Well, Noam I can think of one good argument: the Japs started it! How ‘bout that, YOU PUSSY?!?!
This week brings the 2009 Tokyo Game Show, and with it an assortment of rumors, speculation, and Western journalists remarking about how wacky Tokyo is. We thought we’d share a few of the rumors that have come across our desks in the past few days.
“This is the kind of behavior we see among the most delusional players,” said Dr. Ng, “Most of these players were just mashing ‘fierce punch’ as hard as they could and occasionally pulled off a quarter-circle turn. Once they’re faced with online competition… Well, they may be in for a terrible shock.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.