How many times did this conversation about the t-shirt take place over the course of the two and a half hour party in Sheila’s backyard? A dozen times, at least. Friends, family, the hired help – no one was spared the explanation. Those who made the mistake of lingering near the drink table rarely returned, and those who did did so hastily, as if a horde of wild animals was about to stampede through and there was only two minutes to pour a vodka cranberry.
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With God of War III’s release, the Kratos Trilogy has finally come to a close. While Hardcasual is really going to miss all the foot-slashing, we know that these are things a “mature” person shouldn’t enjoy. (And certainly no one under the age of eighteen.) We haven’t played it yet, though, because we plan on importing the Chinese version of the game: Mr. Bald’s Jumprope Tag Adventure!
Mark quickly types in his birth date, subtracting ten years from his year of birth. He clicks on the ACCEPT button and the video begins to play. The boys are immediately rewarded with a man stabbing a cyclops in the eye and then riding him around like a chicken with its head cut off. Techno music plays.
Jeremy wears a huge grin across his face. His wide-open eyes are ready for any glimmer of the acceptance he’s sure he’s finally merited. After what seems like an eternity, Billy Gruber finally turns to him and says the words: “We’re talking about Arkham Asylum, faggot. Shadow Complex is so two weeks ago.”
“The writer, Chris Metzen, and I are doing a lot of raiding—I mean researching. We’re doing a lot of researching together,” Mr. Raimi told the audience. “We’ve been researching Naxxramas, Uldum, all those places. Sometimes more than twice a night. However many times it takes. We want to get this right.”
Then straightaway, at the fourth hour, the caffeine and salt did fail Him for he then needed sleep and drink, but he received them not. The Empire grew increasingly dark so Jesus did increase the monitor’s brightness.
We’re in the spare bedroom that he has converted into a makeshift classroom. Behind him, Luke is prying a bejeweled necklace off the dug up skeleton of a nobleman. Every few seconds he stops to spit in a bucket.
Mrs. Henderson wasn’t the first to make a move, sexually. Ms. Viola had filled Pit’s locker with naked Polaroids, close-up pictures of her nether-regions trimmed in the shape a Mirror Shield. Even Mr. Dyer had begun watching him during those long walks from gym shower to gym locker.
The most serious claim against the architects is their puzzling decision to color-code the possible destructibility of all doors, vents, and hatches with the use of direct illumination. “We’re scrapping the first batch of luminophilic, missile-destructable doors,” reads one letter from the architects.
The song starts. A minute goes by without notes. The makeshift band is confused, but nobody says anything. They patiently wait for notes to appear. Perhaps the song has a long lead-in? James Brent, the fraternity’s leader and fake-bass guitarist, finally says what everybody is thinking, “Is this shit broken?”
Detroit, Michigan
Gordon Freelander spotted chasing paparazzi off his driveway, who were snapping pictures of him as he fixed up his cherry red 1976 Ford Mustang.
He doesn’t go to church! So it’s like his prayers are part of some made-up Manson Family cult. If that cult’s only membership requirement is to be embarrassingly bad at Power Cruising.
The world’s fastest hedgehog got himself in a lot of legal trouble and nearly lost a lucrative position as Sega Corporation’s new mascot after one ill-advised night out at Special Stage, an exclusive nightclub on South Island. Sonic – who was in the middle of a nasty divorce with his wife over allegations that he was sleeping with underage Sonic co-star Amy Rose – apparently had sexual intercourse with over thirty-seven women, all in the course of a half-hour.
Mrs. Henderson wasn’t the first to make a move, sexually. Ms. Viola had filled Pit’s locker with naked Polaroids, close-up pictures of her nether-regions trimmed in the shape a Mirror Shield. Even Mr. Dyer had begun watching him during those long walks from gym shower to gym locker.
Dalaran, 23:10 GMT
As they washed Hippogryph shit out of their Tier 7 helms, two tauren adventurers promised themselves that they’d never exchange jewelcrafting tips beneath a flight path ever again.