While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Babysitter Becky Gladstone and her boyfriend Paul were passed out in Mom and Dad’s bed. And Mom and Dad were hours from leaving the neighborhood holiday party with its bottomless bowl of spiked eggnog. If there was one chance to scout the presents under the Christmas tree, thought Scott Brown, 12, this was it.
“Hey guys, you know my 360 red ringed again, is it cool if I play for a while?” Rudolph asks. Comet snorts, trying not to spit out his Diet Mountain Dew, and exclaims, “Yeah right! I don’t want some noob hurting my online rep. Plus, you play inverted.” He guzzles down the last of his drink and eats the can.
The ones in that game where the girl’s taking a shower and it looks like a real shower and she looks dead behind the eyes. Man, I bet those things would have been so fun to play with if I lathered my hands up with some shampoo or body lotion first.
The pressure to have a clever name that can be traced back to a well-known cultural artifact is extremely strong in the junior high music scene. And now, with that resource dwindling every day due to an onslaught of repetitive titles and unnecessary sequels, these groups are breaking up prematurely and depriving young girls of their first musician crushes and young men of their first dabblings in marijuana.
This is just one of several laws that, over several years, have restricted the use of force by double agents and nameless henchmen in snowsuits to limite collateral damage. In a failed attempt to stop stray bullets from killing innocent bystanders in 1993, the UN forced all spies to only use “golden guns” to attack their once friends turned arch-enemies. These so-called golden guns proved to effective, leading to the incidental death of over a thousand innocent bystanders who were merely hit in the leg or hand by a cool-sounding ricochet.
Owner Jose Carvalho has managed to chart as high as 7th place on the hi-score board, but that just isn’t good enough. If he wants to get rid of the FAG score completely, he has to get ten high scores higher than 1,543,000. It’ll be a longer and more tedious ordeal than he’s had to endure in over a decade. It’s strange. He’s been playing for five hours now, and he feels like he used to after a particularly grueling upper body workout. Is this what all video games are like?
You gave me hope, Raven Alexis. You spoke directly to the pizza-loving, Red Bull snorting, Charles Kettering-quoting geek that I am. And that’s why I blame you for my present predicament: I’m balls deep in a hot tub full of crazy, Raven Alexis, and I need you to tell me how to get out of it without singeing my pubes.
So I was wondering, Mr. Siegel – what exactly is this “gamerscore” you have listed under “awards and achievements” on your resume? It seems like quite a large number – 24,550 as of 12/12/09, you say – but I can’t say that I can place it under any of the references I’ve seen before. I don’t know who or what this Ga-mere is – am I saying it correctly? Gah-mayre? Gay-murr? Is it a standardized test? A college competition?
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Noby Noby Boy is about the impracticality of a third party in the American political system, and how it’s unfair. See, the BOY is like the Republicans, and the Democrats, and then GIRL is the higher cause of… What? Shit, man, watching this dude eating has got me hungry. Wait, what time is it?
11:43 PM — A frazzled mother who had been in line for over an hour asked the two teenagers in place behind her to “save her place” while she “checked on her baby in the car.”
The blue turtle shell is only the tip of the iceberg. One has to wonder, are there still banana peels rotting on the brunette slopes of Choco Mountain? And how many fake item boxes have been left to the elements out in Yoshi Valley? These are the things we never think about when the confetti has been swept away and the winners and losers have all been chosen.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.