While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
When Janna moved here six months ago with big dreams of becoming a professional journalist, there was no way she could have predicted that she’d spend seven hours a day behind her desk, answering the phone every twenty minutes or so, living the life she used to live back home….on a farm that exists only on Facebook.
Shaun stands amongst a field of ash tress from which thousands of men are hung by their tongues. They scream for relief from an eternity of pain in a synchronous, harmonic and lispy groan: HELLLLLFFFFFF UTTTHHHHHHHHH!
A representative for Nintendo told us, “The Nintendo DSi’s camera serves many purposes – a way to show that we’ve slightly improved the product, a feature we can add to press releases, a theoretically useful piece of technology. We never thought that it could actually be used to take photographs, but it just goes to show the ingenuity and resourcefulness of Nintendo’s fans.”
“Sure hon, I’ll get you a drink. Huh? Oh, no, you don’t need to show me your press badge. You’re at the bar not the conference hall. No, really, please stop waving it in my face.”
For Lilliana Hanes, who controls Dante from her couch, there will be no “escaping” the fourth level of hell. There will be no “minibosses”, no “secret passageways” with “helpful powerups”. Instead, she will spend an eternity forced to lie in a vile slush made of freezing rain, black snow, and hail. No one will come to claim her, because no one will care. That’s what she gets for being fat.
I could go to work. It’s just, the commute is a real hike. Especially in the cold. No way is it more than 15 degres out and the office is all the way across town. By cab or subway that wouldn’t be so bad, but by foot across town might as well be across the Mississippi.
When he first heard about the Avatar Marketplace on Xbox Live, Larry laughed it off. “What kind of loser would spend money on virtual clothes for their stupid avatars? I mean, come on. This is ridiculous.” But then the peer pressure set in. “I mean, I was playing 1 vs. 100, and everyone else had all these awesome outfits. And there I was, in a stupid blue sweater. The guy next to me had a wizard hat and a Beatles shirt. I mean, how cool is that?! What if I had gotten up there on that stage? Everyone would have thought I was totally lame!”
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
If Nazis were like Charmanders, Nazi Zombies were like Charizards. They were bigger, and meaner and they breathed fire! ROOOOOOOARRRRRR!
WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.
Only six copies of the materia have been located across Gaia. Though the summoned Badasx Aeris does not actually serve any function in combat, reports show that diehard fans of the martyred flower girl from Midgar are gathering in taverns and summoning her as many as fifty times an evening.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.
