No matter how clear the omen, how obvious the warning that something was wrong, really, really wrong, it seemed the Biedermans managed to fold it up neatly and pack it away to be forgotten like all those old linens in the closet. And the copy of Tony Hawk RIDE ensconced between them.

“As I understand Freud, dreams are just small concerns of the day made into images that point to deeper desires and fears. But I work in a bank. I can’t imagine what goes through my mind at work that would make me dream of a tree with a boner nose making me swallow apples and spit them back at his face.”

Exclusive Image From Phil Spector’s “Epic Mickey”

He doesn’t go to church! So it’s like his prayers are part of some made-up Manson Family cult. If that cult’s only membership requirement is to be embarrassingly bad at Power Cruising.

Attempts to drag more excitement out of the game led Walsh to throw a number of Beatles-themed Rock Band parties. “It turns out all people want to talk about is why their favorite song isn’t in the game. Jennifer, my girlfriend, was all like ‘Where’s “Hey Jude”? Where’s “A Day in the Life”? What the fuck is “Boys”?”

“I remember strapping on the iron boots, sinking to the bottom of Lake Hyrule, and solving a bunch of complicated puzzles that had to do with raising the water levels so that I could get to this and that,” the ageless Hylian says with a sad smile. “I just don’t remember exactly how I figured it out.”

A reminder pops up: Why not take a break? There’s a picture of an open window leading out to a beautiful park, a serene forest, a city street. Omar wonders what kind of person would choose to push a bunch of buttons in a dimly lit bedroom when they could be outside? That’s someone he’d like to stab in the neck.

Mario, the league’s chairman, said in a brief statement: “We here at the Mario Kart circuit come from a simple culture, where men are men, women wear bows and bake cookies, adults can race right alongside their infant selves, and monkeys and reptiles can race go-karts together.”