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In case you missed it, Seth Schiesel of the New York Times called Dragon Age: Origins “perhaps the best electronic game yet made” today (as opposed to The Beatles: Rock Band, which he called “the most important video game yet made“). We’ve been following Dragon Age as well – the dwarven metalworker-related strike, for one – but we can’t help but wonder when Schiesel will finish his piece on “when there will be a Mad Men of videogames“.
Mr. Ryan’s girlfriend, who declined to be named, said of his behavior: “Sam is a great boyfriend. He does all the cooking and the cleaning, and he always knows all the best places to go shopping. But this is so strange! I haven’t seen him like this since the time we watched 300.”
[INTERJECTION], I understand that [ORIGINAL GAME CO.]’s CEO, [CELEBTRITY GAME EXEC] hopes to [VERB] the casual market, but what about the [NOUN]-gamer? Why must you suddenly ape [MAINSTREAM GAME], when your fans demand more titles like my favorite RPG [MEDIVAL TORTUER DEVICE] Dungeon [NUMBER], or even the much demanded sequel to [COMIC] Vs. [OBSCURE FIGHTER]?
Dear Chris,
Please answer my calls. Jail isn’t a safe place for a pleasantly plump and blush cheeked old man.
Please don’t tell Mrs. Claus, but when I tried to break into Sam’s I couldn’t fit through the door. I decided to grease myself with the baby oil, but that only got me stuck in the doorframe. Now the other prisoners, they can smell it. They can smell the baby oil. They treat me like a greased man toy. They call me Pickled Porky Pig.
Please help me.
Your friend,
Santa
Which brings me to my reason for dissolving our relationship. I’m sorry, but his games are bigger than yours. They have better control, they last longer, and, unlike yours, they’re smooth, not crooked and blocky. I know, I told you your games were smooth and big, but they’re not. They’re crooked and block and short. And rarely do I even feel like playing them to the end.
