Great Court Cases in Video Game History
Thursday, 04/29/10

While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.

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Articles in the ps3 Category

Ezio Auditore Steals Entire City’s Wealth in Order to Restore City’s Wealth
Thursday, Apr 8, 2010 – 11:21
Ezio Auditore Steals Entire City’s Wealth in Order to Restore City’s Wealth

One citizen shared this grievance: “We’re only asking for a little transparency here. I’m willing to pay a property tax- heck, I’d even throw money at him for the ‘don’t stab me in the back’ tax- but I’d at least like to know beforehand where the money is going. I mean, I can see why we need a well for fresh water, and I understand why a brothel might attract more tourism, but a Thieves’ Guild? Really? How does that help the wealth of a city? A safe zone to train more thieves to rob people? Where does the money go then? Back into the hands of Ezio’s Architect, who then remodels the Thieves’ Guild?

Xbox Fanboy Still Giddy Over PSN Outage
Monday, Mar 8, 2010 – 13:14
Xbox Fanboy Still Giddy Over PSN Outage

The tables, it seems, have been turned – at least in the eyes of 360Gamer4939. Whereas once, he had to resort to mudslinging like “GEM IS A GAY NAME” and “ROLE-PLAYING GAMES ARE FOR FAGS”, now he has a strong basis for his argument – the brief outage of an online service, for a portion of PlayStation 3 users. “The facts are finally 100% on my side – the Xbox 360 is clearly the better system.”

PlayStation Network Outage Destroys “Man”’s “Social” “Life”
Wednesday, Mar 3, 2010 – 2:46
PlayStation Network Outage Destroys “Man”’s “Social” “Life”

“I was totally planning to “meet up with” Matt,” Mr. Wheat told us. “He and I were going to “hang out” and play the new Borderlands DLC “together” – I’ve been waiting for this for a while. But then the whole network went down, and how am I supposed to “connect” with him when I can’t even turn on my PS3?”

[all quotation marks have been added by the editor.]

Noby Noby Boy Discovered After Colon Cleansing
Tuesday, Feb 23, 2010 – 0:04
Noby Noby Boy Discovered After Colon Cleansing

“Yeah, man, I’m gonna’ nail that redhead, Kathy,” Garrett told Hardcasual on Friday, “I just need to lose a few pounds. Luckily, my buddy works at the health food store and he hooked me up with these detox pills. This should totally clean my system out.”

“Medal of Honor to Feature War I Don’t Really Understand and Sort of Forgot About,” by Dan Ulrich, LSHS Senior
Thursday, Dec 3, 2009 – 0:01
“Medal of Honor to Feature War I Don’t Really Understand and Sort of Forgot About,” by Dan Ulrich, LSHS Senior

I’m going to Afghanistan. In a video game. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Because my country needs me to play this game so I can fight in a real war one day when I’m bored or just really strapped for cash.

Tony Hawk RIDE Waiting In Linen Closet, Ready To Ruin Christmas
Tuesday, Dec 1, 2009 – 1:01
Tony Hawk RIDE Waiting In Linen Closet, Ready To Ruin Christmas

No matter how clear the omen, how obvious the warning that something was wrong, really, really wrong, it seemed the Biedermans managed to fold it up neatly and pack it away to be forgotten like all those old linens in the closet. And the copy of Tony Hawk RIDE ensconced between them.

Presidential Candidate Confesses To Fabricating Post-College Call of Duty Service
Thursday, Nov 12, 2009 – 0:47
Presidential Candidate Confesses To Fabricating Post-College Call of Duty Service

“It spits in the face of all those gamers who voluntarily gave up their lives to constantly play this online phenomenon,” says Pvt. C0rnh0lio69, “It’s like he never served! If he hasn’t been on a 25 enemy kill streak, how will he ever know to hit left on the d-pad to launch our tactical nuke perk and win the match?!”

“First Person Shooter Has Something Really Important To Say Right After It Teabags You, Faggot” by Lucas Sims, Twenty-Five-Year-Old
Tuesday, Nov 10, 2009 – 1:01
“First Person Shooter Has Something Really Important To Say Right After It Teabags You, Faggot” by Lucas Sims, Twenty-Five-Year-Old

Don’t let mainstream media brainwash you with their half-truths about Modern Warfare 2. Yes, the game does feature a scene in which the player can (but doesn’t have to) shoot civilians in an airport, however, in-game context proves developer Infinity Ward to be making an insightful, necessary point about terrorism, one I’ll explain soon as you suck my balls, faggot.