“To unceremoniously dump them is a grievous error on the part of the d’Oraguilles. If I was the Shadow Lord, I would certainly see this as a prime opportunity to conquer the world. I’m not the Shadow Lord, though. I want to make that clear. I am not the Shadow Lord.”

Murphy, playing the role of Louis in the fast-tracked adaptation, was struck by a massive concrete slab and thrown from a helicopter in the film’s penultimate scene. Paramedics arrived on the scene immediately, but were unable to revive him, as first aid on the scene consisted entirely of large rolls of bandages.

These screencaps posted from our reporter on the World of Warcraft beat reveal a lonely David Schwimmer begging his guildmates over guildchat to let him call them.

I was so engrossed with leveling my new Dranei paladin that I stopped feeding my dog. I thank my lucky stars that I have such attentive neighbors, who noticed his emaciated condition and alerted the authorities just in the nick of time. (To put him down.)

From the album: Time Together on the Farm

Zoey is Bill. Francis. Over here. Look. Help. Bill. Bill. Francis. Louis. Bill. Over here.