Articles in the news Category
Oh! The many wonders this world offers! Oh fleshy man-beasts, in their close knit hovels! Oh, the mechanical vehicles, that don’t require the taming of a horse. How quaint, to track down a single killer through guesswork and investigation! And what great killer decides to hide his work, anyways? Be proud, thinks Lord Bloodcrow. He does not understand, but is intrigued.
“I want the players to really feel the balls,” says a giddy Spielberg. The Oscar-winning director can barely sit still as he muses over the future of his Wii franchise “This will really bring the whole living room alive with balls flying to and fro, explosions, blox and of course all the cute kittie and doggie dudes.”
“This new game comes packed with the Pokéwalker,” states a short-shorts wearing Neal, “Unlike other videogames — which can promote laziness and a lack of group showers – the Pokéwalker gets kids active and walking. You can use this fun pedometer anywhere, and frankly, I’m a fan of just about anything pedo-related.”
“I just want to watch the Scott Pilgrim trailer with her over and over,” said Ross Horsefeld. “I mean, she’d just really get it. And if she was Knives Chao, I’d never leave her for that white girl. Even if she was in Final Destination.”
Mr. Ryan, of course, speaks of the Vita-Chamber, the invention that has shaken the world. Indeed, President Obama’s health care plan would offer all US citizens the right to usage of Vita-Chambers – “from the most downtrodden splicer to the Biggest Daddy, all should have the rights to resume their playthrough of this American dream,” as Obama put it in his State of the Union address. Critics, though, like Mr. Ryan, doubt the efficacy of the plan: “I mean, some people die every five minutes – they just can’t figure out how to use their Plasmids correctly. Why should I pay their bills?”
When asked what his future plans were for his DSi, Perris expressed great excitement about the upcoming camera-enabled Wario Ware game. “I’m totally gonna play that… with my cock!”
Another concern was that Blanka, the young boy who turns into a green electric monkey as the result of a plane crash in Brazil, had too confusing a back story for any subtle racist tinges to effectively reach the players subconscious. “We tried to clean that up in the update. In the new game, it’s very clear that Blanka is green because of his parents’ mixed heritage and as a result of being conceived out of wedlock – NOT because he was struck by lighting.”
