Meat Bun T-shirt Being Explained to Everyone at Party
Friday, 03/12/10

How many times did this conversation about the t-shirt take place over the course of the two and a half hour party in Sheila’s backyard? A dozen times, at least. Friends, family, the hired help – no one was spared the explanation. Those who made the mistake of lingering near the drink table rarely returned, and those who did did so hastily, as if a horde of wild animals was about to stampede through and there was only two minutes to pour a vodka cranberry.

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Chatroulette Adds Achievements
Monday, Feb 22, 2010 – 4:41
Chatroulette Adds Achievements

WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.

BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.

12 Reasons to Buy This Axe Body Spray That in No Way Are We Being Paid to Promote
Saturday, Jan 2, 2010 – 0:36
12 Reasons to Buy This Axe Body Spray That in No Way Are We Being Paid to Promote

Axe Bodyspray has been around since 1983, which is around the time that the Famicom came out in Japan. In a way, the two have intertwining destinies. Without Axe Bodyspray, there would be no Famicom. Without the Famicom, there would be no Axe Bodyspray. The point is that Axe Bodyspray has a lot to do with video games.

11 Pairs of Tits We’ve Wanted to Touch in Video Games
Sunday, Dec 20, 2009 – 14:09
11 Pairs of Tits We’ve Wanted to Touch in Video Games

The ones in that game where the girl’s taking a shower and it looks like a real shower and she looks dead behind the eyes. Man, I bet those things would have been so fun to play with if I lathered my hands up with some shampoo or body lotion first.

5 Sex Scandals That Rocked the Gaming World
Saturday, Dec 12, 2009 – 10:00
5 Sex Scandals That Rocked the Gaming World

The world’s fastest hedgehog got himself in a lot of legal trouble and nearly lost a lucrative position as Sega Corporation’s new mascot after one ill-advised night out at Special Stage, an exclusive nightclub on South Island. Sonic – who was in the middle of a nasty divorce with his wife over allegations that he was sleeping with underage Sonic co-star Amy Rose – apparently had sexual intercourse with over thirty-seven women, all in the course of a half-hour.

8 Games Explained to My 89-Year-Old Grandmother
Saturday, Dec 5, 2009 – 0:35
8 Games Explained to My 89-Year-Old Grandmother

Halo: I’m the Master Chief. Chief, not chef. It’s a military rank. I know he was in the army, Grandma. I’ve seen his purple heart. This is nothing like Normandy. This is on Earth way in the future. That’s Cortana. She doesn’t have to wear clothes. Because she lives in my head, Grandma. Just like you lived in Grandpa’s head when he was killing the Nazis.

10 Surprisingly Optimistic Things Written on the Left 4 Dead 2 Safe Room Walls
Saturday, Nov 21, 2009 – 0:03
10 Surprisingly Optimistic Things Written on the Left 4 Dead 2 Safe Room Walls

“this will make an awesome movie some day!!! (too bad Will Smith is dead) :-(

7 Heinous Acts Committed While Waiting in Line for Modern Warfare 2
Saturday, Nov 14, 2009 – 0:57
7 Heinous Acts Committed While Waiting in Line for Modern Warfare 2

11:43 PM — A frazzled mother who had been in line for over an hour asked the two teenagers in place behind her to “save her place” while she “checked on her baby in the car.”

13 New XBox Achievements Aimed to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
Saturday, Nov 7, 2009 – 0:36
13 New XBox Achievements Aimed to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

But Quizno’s Pays Minimum Wage!: Buy three games that your Xbox Live friends have already had for over a month.