This is strange. Usually Tali’Zorah launches the conversation in any number of interesting directions, each more compelling than the one before it: should we fight the Geth? can we trust Cerberus? may I unzip my space blouse?

“I’d say it’s a sun stain, like an effect from exposure,” said Seabald, confused and distraught about the damage done to his box cover. “But I can’t remember the last time we brought this thing out for a party. I imagine it’s just been sitting in the dark the last five years.”

Shaun stands amongst a field of ash tress from which thousands of men are hung by their tongues. They scream for relief from an eternity of pain in a synchronous, harmonic and lispy groan: HELLLLLFFFFFF UTTTHHHHHHHHH!

I could go to work. It’s just, the commute is a real hike. Especially in the cold. No way is it more than 15 degres out and the office is all the way across town. By cab or subway that wouldn’t be so bad, but by foot across town might as well be across the Mississippi.

When he first heard about the Avatar Marketplace on Xbox Live, Larry laughed it off. “What kind of loser would spend money on virtual clothes for their stupid avatars? I mean, come on. This is ridiculous.” But then the peer pressure set in. “I mean, I was playing 1 vs. 100, and everyone else had all these awesome outfits. And there I was, in a stupid blue sweater. The guy next to me had a wizard hat and a Beatles shirt. I mean, how cool is that?! What if I had gotten up there on that stage? Everyone would have thought I was totally lame!”

Attention! Attention! Fleshlings of Earth are to prohibit bodily movement for the duration of the following announcement from our almighty, all-knowing and ill-being Imperial Lord Zargon.

We were trapped in a cave in. When we heard the scratching, we were sure that was that. Damnation and salvation had rutted so much that day, we couldn’t tell the Devil from Jesus. We sat, weakened, hearing the noise get closer and closer. We weren’t expecting a man in a blue and white jumpsuit. If this was Jesus, then Disco was surely alive and well in Heaven.

The middle stall of EA Redwood Studio’s 3rd floor men’s room was for a long time the secondary office of Alex Doe, Senior Copyeditor and the man who signed off our company’s box art for a living. Any other employee at any other employer would have been ashamed to spend full afternoons lounging in the loo, but Alex took pride in what it was he did and where it was he did it.