Dad Won’t Leave Pinball Museum
Monday, 03/15/10

Without another word, he’s back at a new machine, and as we stared, confused, in his direction, we could make out his muttered “oh, the action is fast on this one” and “I haven’t played pinball since Rhonda got pregnant and ruined my life.” We looked at each other – Mom’s name isn’t Rhonda. Rick, my older brother, starts to cry, too.

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Co-Worker Constantly Telling “Left 4 Dead” Stories Again
Monday, Dec 7, 2009 – 1:00
Co-Worker Constantly Telling “Left 4 Dead” Stories Again

But once his enthusiasm dulled, a period of relative peace began in the office. Hal kept his stories to an occasional World of Warcraft rant or an elaborate retelling of an escape from the police in Grand Theft Auto 4. The office quickly came to an agreement that Rachel’s interminable stories about what her two “adorable” children were now, once again, the most annoying thing about their co-workers. And Hal was once again invited to lunch and happy hour. Until Left 4 Dead 2 happened.

News Brief 12/5/09
Saturday, Dec 5, 2009 – 3:51
News Brief 12/5/09

Bad news today for Barack Obama, whose approval rating dropped below 50% for the first time ever. If only he had attacked for massive damage when he found the glowing weak spot of the financial crisis. That said, we remain confident he won’t pull a Bush and ragequit over the poll results.

News Brief 12/1/09
Tuesday, Dec 1, 2009 – 3:30
News Brief 12/1/09

A new Hardcasual approaches. Check our our new World of Warcraft Watch, News Briefs, and Seen on the Streets sections. They’re spread around the main page, to make it more likely that you’ll click our ads and help us pay off our Black Friday debts.

Seen on the Streets
Monday, Nov 30, 2009 – 2:59
Seen on the Streets

Blockbuster Video – New York City, New York
Solid Snake spotted reading the back cover of Escape from New York in the Action/Adventure section and looking very confused.

World of Warcraft Watch
Monday, Nov 30, 2009 – 2:58
World of Warcraft Watch

Blasted Lands, 13:01 GMT
A really important crystal shattered into a dozen pieces and of course it was up to you to collect those fucking things.

Man Saves $10 On Game He Didn’t Really Want
Monday, Nov 30, 2009 – 2:00
Man Saves $10 On Game He Didn’t Really Want

“I can’t explain it,” said Clay. “I mean, I always figure – I’m going to want to play this game eventually anyway, right? So why not strike while the iron’s hot? I mean, when am I going to find Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood for only $30 again? Or look, Need for Speed: Shift for $10 off! That’s too good to pass up! I mean, I think it is. That game was supposed to be okay, right? I think they mentioned it on some podcast.”

U.S. Metalworkers Protest Dwarven Free Trade Agreement
Monday, Nov 23, 2009 – 2:00
U.S. Metalworkers Protest Dwarven Free Trade Agreement

“I’ve got nothing against dwarves– they’re a vigorous, hardy folk– but don’t they live amongst the rock and stone their whole lives, communing with the spirits of the Earth every day? How can our average, above-ground human weapon and armor smiths compete with that?” said Harry Lancaster, a 43-year old father of two who joined the picketers.

New Orleans Completely Unchanged After Zombie Outbreak
Wednesday, Nov 18, 2009 – 4:29
New Orleans Completely Unchanged After Zombie Outbreak

Many in the city are hoping that next year’s Mardi Gras will be a chance for the city to show the world just how strong it remains in the face of its recent tragedies. One Mardi Gras expert, a local named Alison Ryan, told Hardcasual, “I think it’ll be basically the same. Thousands of brain-dead freaks slowly making their way down important paths. No safe places to stop and get anything but more cocktails. Horrific monsters vomiting deadly substances onto the street and innocent civilians. Yep, New Orleans is still the best city on earth.”