Well, shit. Long weekend’s over, holidays are over, and we’re stuck with a long, cold winter still ahead of us. In a few hours, we’ll be back behind our desks, quietly praying for a resonance cascade, hoping for a way to make our job sound less pathetic, or maybe just avoiding Greg from HR. On the bright side, at least it’s not 2009! Fuck that year!
“I mean, he started off like he was really trying to go for it,” Rob told us later. “I think he was still trying to do some sort of weird Bob Dylan impression, too, but he was starting off like he was really going to sing the song. But then he started just mumbling the words, and when he realized that the game was deducting points for that, he started doing the mumbling louder.”
“Sure, it’s happened every year so far,” said Mark Griffin, reliability officer at Xbox Live, “But this year, we’ve attached the ethernet cables with extra duct tape. In fact, I’ve used over seven rolls of duct tape on this Xbox alone. Wait, what do these blinking red lights mean? Is that bad?”
So I was wondering, Mr. Siegel – what exactly is this “gamerscore” you have listed under “awards and achievements” on your resume? It seems like quite a large number – 24,550 as of 12/12/09, you say – but I can’t say that I can place it under any of the references I’ve seen before. I don’t know who or what this Ga-mere is – am I saying it correctly? Gah-mayre? Gay-murr? Is it a standardized test? A college competition?
Ain’t It Cool News decided to play with our hearts once more today, with the not-so-surprising rumor-mongering that there may be a new Star Wars movie on the way. We can only hope and pray that the team responsible follows BioWare’s lead, as they hide Star Wars: The Old Republic from George Lucas.
Guys, are you back from your midnight launch parties for Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks yet? Wait, you didn’t go to the launch party? Oh, you didn’t even know it came out? Celebrate the least-promoted Zelda ever by remembering that you’re still not quite sure how you figured out that Water Temple.
But once his enthusiasm dulled, a period of relative peace began in the office. Hal kept his stories to an occasional World of Warcraft rant or an elaborate retelling of an escape from the police in Grand Theft Auto 4. The office quickly came to an agreement that Rachel’s interminable stories about what her two “adorable” children were now, once again, the most annoying thing about their co-workers. And Hal was once again invited to lunch and happy hour. Until Left 4 Dead 2 happened.
Bad news today for Barack Obama, whose approval rating dropped below 50% for the first time ever. If only he had attacked for massive damage when he found the glowing weak spot of the financial crisis. That said, we remain confident he won’t pull a Bush and ragequit over the poll results.
