Sony is sure to see negative effects from the leak of the Go, not the least of which will be the dulled response to their announcement during their E3 keynote. A source high up at Sony said, “The only thing that didn’t leak in that fucking video was the price. So at least we’ve got one trick up our sleeve. Unfortunately, we’re still Sony, and it’s $349 at launch.”
The much-loved magazine reached over half a million subscribers at points in its history, almost all of whom read its insightful reviews while pinching a loaf. The magazine’s presence on the top of a toilet was the sign of any devoted gamer, and an instant red flag to any woman visiting the reader’s apartment.
I totally wanted one of these when I was a kid. They were basically the coolest thing in the world – and now, I look at it, and it just fills me up with all these feelings that I haven’t had since then. I mean, remember when you were excited about things? When everything seemed to be going your way?
In a tragic turn of events this morning, Hideo Kojima’s production company opened a black hole that threatens to shortly destroy the universe by announcing the upcoming announcement of their announcement of an upcoming game. The illogical series of events, made possible by a number of games blogs mindlessly fellating PR flacks, is believed to be the cause of the black hole, which began in the Tokyo-based offices of popular games news magazine Famitsu.
A brief glimpse of a snowmobile in the trailer led first to Sarah Palin jokes, then discussion of vehicles in multiplayer, and finally a vicious flamewar between two overweight teenagers over the efficacy of snowmobiles in combat. Neither had ever met anyone who had been in the military.
Crazy week for videogames, right? But you’ve just been reading Kotaku, huh, poser, so why would you know? But you’re all like, oh, Totilo this, death of New Games Journalism that, but you have to really get it from the source. Oh, the source? Yeah, you should really be listening to my podcast.
“This is the kind of behavior we see among the most delusional players,” said Dr. Ng, “Most of these players were just mashing ‘fierce punch’ as hard as they could and occasionally pulled off a quarter-circle turn. Once they’re faced with online competition… Well, they may be in for a terrible shock.”
In the Fallout series’ alternate timeline, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was studied by the Brotherhood of Steel for his extreme acquired resistance to neurochemicals, and instead of his tragic suicide was frozen in a capsule moments before his death from excessive grooviness.
