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Thursday, 04/29/10

While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.

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Monday, 04/5/10 – 1:29 am

Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?

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Hardcasual is published every weekday with video game humor, satire, and news.

We accept freelance pitches at hardcasual@gmail.com.

PRESS RECOGNITION

WEBSITE OF THE MONTH, Edge Magazine, June 2009 – “A videogaming attempt at the Onion… Plenty of belly laughs.”

“BEST OF HUMOUR… Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other.” – Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

“I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more… These guys are like The Onion of video games.”
– Stephen Totilo, Kotaku / MTV Multiplayer

WRITERS / EDITORS

Chris Littler
Chris Plante
Sam Ryan

In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.

After 21 Years of Running, Man Can No Longer Avoid the Noid

For 21 years, AJ Goldberg –a.k.a. Anthony O’Houllihan, Ang Yoo and Antoine Okeoke —has avoided the Noid. Until today. But first, before he can face his demon, he must diffuse two decades worth of cautionary measures, taking time to remember the good times, but mostly the bad.

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11 Pairs of Tits We’ve Wanted to Touch in Video Games

The ones in that game where the girl’s taking a shower and it looks like a real shower and she looks dead behind the eyes. Man, I bet those things would have been so fun to play with if I lathered my hands up with some shampoo or body lotion first.

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Image of the Virgin Mary Discovered in F.A.Q. for Pokemon Snap

“My congregation has fallen upon hard times lately. We were praying for a miracle, unaware that all our prayers would have been answered if we had not turned out back on Pickacho and all his friends when they went out of style,” Pastor Belfry added.

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