“Dear Disney Shareholders, Why the Heck is Donald Duck Stabbing All These Negros With A Giant Wand?” by The Recently Thawed Head of Walt Disney

Help me understand this: you sons-of-bitches have been throwing away all my hard-earned profits on an interactive movie where a Donald Duck beats up Negros with a giant key, but you still haven’t cured cancer? That’s it, put me back in the freeze.

20 Things A Gamer Shouldn’t Say in Bed

10.) Achievement unlocked: “Virgin 2.0”

9.) Don’t you hate grinding.

8.) Shh! My raid can still hear us!

7.) How do I invert your Y-axis?

6.) I call it “Active reloading.”

Link Still Not Quite Sure How He Figured Out That Water Temple

“I remember strapping on the iron boots, sinking to the bottom of Lake Hyrule, and solving a bunch of complicated puzzles that had to do with raising the water levels so that I could get to this and that,” the ageless Hylian says with a sad smile. “I just don’t remember exactly how I figured it out.”