Outraged citizens in the Town of Monteriggioni took to the streets today as Ezio Auditore, the town’s “secret” oligarch and infamous assassin, announced a plan to remodel the town’s fountain for a third time using funds from an undisclosed source. Many protestors claim these funds came from their own pockets, and state Ezio stole the florins himself, and didn’t have the decency to run away but instead merely walked at a fast pace hoping no one would notice.

One citizen shared this grievance: “We’re only asking for a little transparency here. I’m willing to pay a property tax- heck, I’d even throw money at him for the ‘don’t stab me in the back’ tax- but I’d at least like to know beforehand where the money is going. I mean, I can see why we need a well for fresh water, and I understand why a brothel might attract more tourism, but a Thieves’ Guild? Really? How does that help the wealth of a city? A safe zone to train more thieves to rob people? Where does the money go then? Back into the hands of Ezio’s Architect, who then remodels the Thieves’ Guild?

“I also heard that he spends a lot of ‘public funds’ on paintings for his house. I get it: it’s the Renaissance. But give me a fucking break! I don’t care if they those paintings reveal more secrets about the effects of time travel! The Future is a long time from now, and I’m stuck here in 1478 with no money to buy the niceties Renaissance Italians enjoy, like a new set of rags or a mask for Carnival”

Other citizens were a bit angrier: “It was kind of cute when there were only six people living in this town, and Ezio thought dressing like a knight would help him keep a low profile. Then we would let him steal a little money from our pockets, until it became obvious he thought we didn’t notice! He kept tearing down wanted posters with pictures of him, as if we’d forget what he looks like. He’s the most notorious assassin in Italy; I think we know when he sits on a bench next to us!

“He’s also one of the few people in town who hasn’t lost his nose to The Pox, of course we know his face! When he stole money from a lot of my relatives, then did a swan dive off the church tower into a haystack, that’s when I knew he was mocking us. Or when Da Vinci gave him that flying machine? Forget it! When you’re literally the only person who can fly, you’re no longer in hiding.”

Finally, one citizen offered this solution: “He should have the decency to get his money through acceptable means, like murdering deviant Popes or stabbing other thieves to death in the center to entertain us. Has he not read The Prince yet? Even serfs know the two things you never take from people is land and women. I think he must have meant money as well. Maybe Ezio should listen to the guy instead of just using a world renown writer as another hand in murdering people! I hope Dante is somewhere writing a new Epic, instead of wasting his time running around and killing things!”

Further reporting by Dan Wilbur.