Last Thursday, a young boy named Jacob had a couple friends over after school.  It was a typical night filled with gossip about girls, soda pop, laughter at each other’s expense and, of course, a few hours planted in front of the Nintendo Wii.  Of all his friends, Jacob excelled at Wii bowling, most likely because he was the only one to own the system.  With an average of 245, he had yet to achieve what every serious Wii bowler hopes to attain: a perfect score.  As each of his friends went for one of the many novelty Miis created, Jacob chose his favorite Mii in the entire bunch, Adolf Hitler (whose favorite color is pink, mind you).

While the moral implications are lost on the many young gamers out there who find the genocidal despot’s mustache “silly”, his beady little eyes “endearing” and have no idea what World War II was, it is not without its parental lambasting.

“How can our children look at this monster as a hero?” says the appalled father of Jacob, Rabbi Mordechai Steinberg.  “When Jacob called me in to look at his score I nearly plotzed!  I hoped my son would never find out about that dybbuk, and yet here he was on his own Nintendo station as a good guy!”    Rabbi Steinberg holds up a copy of Wii Sports in his trembling hand “They say this game is an ‘E for everyone’ but all I see is the man who killed millions of my people playing recreational sports, which is not for anyone!”

Tension was eased slightly when Jacob showed his father that the game also allowed for beating up Hitler in the boxing game, however the relief was short lived as Jacob quickly knocked his father out in seconds.  Jacob is that good.   Ever since games began allowing players to create their own characters, some of the more depraved and talented gamers have been creating content that many would consider “Adults Only.”

With the Wii being one of the most flexible character creating tools, second only to the MMOG Second Life and the WWE Smackdown franchise, players young and old have been able to create a virtual counterpart to nearly anyone or anything!  From Darth Vader to Michael Jackson, to Stalin and a man with a penis for a face, children all over the world have been exposing themselves to the dark recesses of their own minds.

Polls show that the most prevalent created character is a more athletic and attractive version of the person playing, followed by caricatures of family members, and then on to crushes and school bullies.  In terms of celebrity creations the list was much more specific; with Hitler taking the top spot followed closely by Dark Jesus, Batman, Barrack Obama and then White Jesus. With the ability to put anyone into these games allows for the player to witness some of their biggest inside jokes to be played out in front of them.  Who wouldn’t want to see that jerk Billy Mincus be sent through a burning table by John Cena?  Or to watch as Grandma beats Mario in a neck and neck motorcycle race just days after getting her hip replaced?   While the benefit of having created characters in a game are all too apparent, the allowance of such unrestricted freedoms in the creating process of future games is unclear, one thing is for certain: Thank goodness Mordechai didn’t catch his son playing Smackdown later that evening in a Hell in the Cell match as Pimp Moses versus “The Fabulous” Gaybraham.

From Hardcasual correspondent Zane Gould.