This week’s best/worst thing to happen to the internet ever, Chatroulette, has made an exciting announcement for gamers – the addition of a cadre of point-granting achievements. The randomized video-chatting site, full of penises, drunk college students, and the occasional Turkish convenience store attendant, has already caught the attention of the media. But while it deems itself a “game”, this is its first voray into the hearts and minds of the hardcore gamer.

Hardcasual is the first news source to deliver the exclusive details of the initial round of achievements.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.

BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.

A BIG, BRIGHT, SHINING STAR – 5 Points – While exposing your genitals, get someone to watch for more than 10 seconds.

MIGHT AS WELL – 10 Points – Sign on to ChatRoulette while your girlfriend is asleep.

AUDITIONING FOR SESAME STREET – 10 Points – Spend more than two minutes “talking” to a puppet or stuffed animal.

UNCLEAN. SO, SO, UNCLEAN – 20 Points – Shower for more than 20 minutes attempting to clear an image you’ve seen from your head.

WELL, THAT HURTS – 10 Points – Have someone stop masturbating when you show up in their feed.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S TUESDAY? – 5 Points – Spend more than 3 hours on Chatroulette.