While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Life imitates art, once more. Gavin Purcell, of Jimmy Fallon / Attack of the Show fame, tweeted yesterday that Mass Effect 2 was the Mad Men of videogames. Well, I guess that answers that question. We have to wonder, though – would Don Draper need branching dialogue to bang that weird Space-British chick?
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Mike counts out the drawer. A couple thousand and change all in a glorified Ziploc bag. He presses down the “we don’t trust our own employees” pressure sensitive ink seal, tosses the bag with all its dough in the back of the store safe and locks up the office. Everyone calls it the office, but it’s really just a 3’ x 3’ converted broom closet in the back. They all joke how they’d kill to work in an office. Any office. Even one like the broom closet. But preferably one like the TV show.
The world’s fastest hedgehog got himself in a lot of legal trouble and nearly lost a lucrative position as Sega Corporation’s new mascot after one ill-advised night out at Special Stage, an exclusive nightclub on South Island. Sonic – who was in the middle of a nasty divorce with his wife over allegations that he was sleeping with underage Sonic co-star Amy Rose – apparently had sexual intercourse with over thirty-seven women, all in the course of a half-hour.
“This is the kind of behavior we see among the most delusional players,” said Dr. Ng, “Most of these players were just mashing ‘fierce punch’ as hard as they could and occasionally pulled off a quarter-circle turn. Once they’re faced with online competition… Well, they may be in for a terrible shock.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.