While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
According to Kotaku, the ESRB used some highly subjective language in their intial review of Tecmo’s Dead or Alive Paradise, saying that it was “creepy”, had “dental-floss thongs” and was “wholly unfit to masturbate to“. Okay, we made that last one up, but it’s still pretty funny, seeing as how those guys recentally made the “Mature” label ironic. Sounds like the heavy work load over there is causing some people to crack. Can’t wait!
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Anyone who doubts the incredible power of the Predator needs only to watch the excellent documentaries Predator and Predator II. Both films show the Predator as an experienced hunter who will stop at nothing to eliminate his prey – much as I have lead the charge to save our streets from the scourge of hard-working Mexican immigrants.
The ones in that game where the girl’s taking a shower and it looks like a real shower and she looks dead behind the eyes. Man, I bet those things would have been so fun to play with if I lathered my hands up with some shampoo or body lotion first.
But this past Wednesday morning, a local young man, Guybrush Thriftweed launched a surprise one man attack on the ship, overcoming the pirates using nothing more than a monocle, a manila envelope, some parrot chow and a temporary library card.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.