While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
“This is not how we wanted to shoot my cover image, and you know … there were a lot more photos we wanted to shoot, maybe some where I smile or growl or somethin’, but we won’t be able to accomplish that because, wherever I go, this fly keeps landing in my eye… makes it sort of look like I’m crying,” said Tebow. “Can you imagine? Me? Crying? Like a baby?”
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
He doesn’t go to church! So it’s like his prayers are part of some made-up Manson Family cult. If that cult’s only membership requirement is to be embarrassingly bad at Power Cruising.
11:43 PM — A frazzled mother who had been in line for over an hour asked the two teenagers in place behind her to “save her place” while she “checked on her baby in the car.”
Pokemon number 185 stares at the television with black, beady eyes. It’s firmly planted on the navy blue rug and looks like it hasn’t budged in days. It has a permanent smile on its face, but I can tell there’s no joy left inside that rock hard trunk. Only emptiness.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.