While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
Read the full story »
Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
The first two Final Fantasies are finally coming to the iPhone. This may be the biggest news since Aeris Gainsborough released her 8th posthumous materia. Finally, we can play through these games the way they were meant to be played: while waiting in traffic on the way to work.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Attention! Attention! Fleshlings of Earth are to prohibit bodily movement for the duration of the following announcement from our almighty, all-knowing and ill-being Imperial Lord Zargon.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.
The game itself has been banned in most African countries since 1998. Despite being banned and condemned by religious leaders who claim that the game promotes gluttony and trivializes the spirit world, lines to play the one Pac Man machine still operating in Harare have grown exponentially over the past two weeks.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.