While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
So Bayonetta sure has ignited a shitstorm – is it sexist? Is is embarrassing? Is Leigh Alexander going to turn back into a cyborg? All we know is that we’re happy for the androgynous Japanese girls of the world – finally, they’ll be left alone by us nerds. And we’re glad something will teach the young’uns about sex – after Will Wright ignored it for so long.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
“Games journalism is such a hard world for a man to break into. Look at, say, Leigh Alexander. What’s she ever done? I mean, obviously, she’s been like an editor at every major news source on the internet, and she’s been working for decades. But her blog? People just read that shit because she’s a girl.”
“this will make an awesome movie some day!!! (too bad Will Smith is dead) 
”
“One more fight,” Aaron says, his gaze focused on the screen. The 3rd period of the game has begun. There are no points on the board, because they’ve been fighting the whole time. “But we’ll have to play more hockey,” Peter complains. “Just keep checking my dude,” Aaron says.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.