While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Is anyone upset Spidey 4 got squashed, considering it frees director Sam Raimi to assemble that World of Warcraft movie? As fans, we’ll volunteer our unsolicited ideas and be upset if they aren’t taken. Ahem. Any good WoW movie will include: a dwarf named David Schwimmer, the Big Titty Boss, and some hot shot intern hellbent on overthrowing Blizzard brass from the inside and razing this MMO to nothing but scorched Azer-earth.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Attention! Attention! Fleshlings of Earth are to prohibit bodily movement for the duration of the following announcement from our almighty, all-knowing and ill-being Imperial Lord Zargon.
This week brings the 2009 Tokyo Game Show, and with it an assortment of rumors, speculation, and Western journalists remarking about how wacky Tokyo is. We thought we’d share a few of the rumors that have come across our desks in the past few days.
“My congregation has fallen upon hard times lately. We were praying for a miracle, unaware that all our prayers would have been answered if we had not turned out back on Pickacho and all his friends when they went out of style,” Pastor Belfry added.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.