While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
It’s New Year’s Eve, would you believe it? The one night a year reclusive men and affected women can come together over a shared contempt for Ryan Seacrest. And maybe score, too! So dust off your tasteless impression of post-stroke Dick Clark, hit pause on whatever it is you’ve been playing since Christmas and turn off that blasted iPhone. A chance like this only comes every weekend!
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
I’m going to Afghanistan. In a video game. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Because my country needs me to play this game so I can fight in a real war one day when I’m bored or just really strapped for cash.
10.) Achievement unlocked: “Virgin 2.0”
9.) Don’t you hate grinding.
8.) Shh! My raid can still hear us!
7.) How do I invert your Y-axis?
6.) I call it “Active reloading.”
Police shot and killed the local 33-year-old ape after he began to throw barrels onto the I-45 freeway. The primate’s motives are currently under investigation, though early reports blame the ape’s breakfast: a dangerous cocktail of bananas and peanuts.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.