Little Juniper Jones sits upright in her bed and wipes her eyes. As her vision adjusts to the room she wonders, Is it Christmas already? She tosses her iCarly comforter off and plants both feet on the cold morning carpet. The room glows digital red from the clock in the corner, 7:22. When she looks out the window, she can see the distinct aura of a sun on its way in the sky above her neighbor’s house. It’s Christmas, alright. And it’s time to find her presents.

An old dog lies in the hallway, keeping warm in the light of the ceiling spot. He blinks a few times as Juniper sneaks by him, then looks towards Juniper’s parent’s bedroom door, as if curious why this little pup is out on her own. He loses his train of thought the minute she tiptoes into the darkness.

Juniper strides down the staircase, her heart beating double when she catches glimpse of the Christmas tree glowing brilliant white in the far corner of the living room. There must be fifty presents beneath – red and white and silver, bows and twisty ribbons, twenty for her, twenty for her baby sister, ten grab bags housing wines and cheeses from far off relatives.

Juniper dances in front of the tree, shimmies past the half-eaten cookies and her note to Santa Claus, and plants herself in front of the sleeping PC. She taps the mouse a dozen more times than she needs to before the monitor blinks awake. As she fires up Internet Explorer, she has one burning question on her mind:

What has Jolly Old Saint Rick uploaded to isohunt for her this Christmas?

Games! Movies! Television shows! All in crystal clear HD quality! Each one of them being seeded by over three-thousand clients! Things that haven’t been released yet! Things that haven’t even been announced yet! Things that will never ever be!

The first thing millions of children will do when they wake up this morning is check their computers to see what new games Jolly Old Saint Rick has put on the internet for them to pirate. Many children won’t even consider laying hand on gift wrap until twenty or more files are being illegally downloaded at once. And you can forget about stockings.

So who is this Jolly Old Saint Nick? The details around him are fuzzy. All that is known about him is that he lives somewhere in Brazil, where he is free to upload content without being arrested for copyright violations, he enjoys warm empanadas and beer, and he travels the world via Virgin Air.

His presence on the holiday scene offers some perplexing questions, ones that keep little boys and girls like young Juniper up late on Christmas Eve. With their heads resting on pillows, they ask their Mommies and Daddies, “How does Jolly Old Saint Rick get all this high quality content up in one night?”

“He has a team of workers that upload massive amounts of data onto the web all at once. They work year-round to make sure that the servers wont buckle under the strain of all that content,” they say.

“But how does he get his hands on stuff that hasn’t come out on DVD or Blu-ray?”

“He has a few friends in the business.”

And the questions keep coming, until they tucker themselves out and drift off into slumberland, and their parents set to work putting presents out and taking bites out of cookies in order to convince their children that a less popular Christmas mascot still exists.

None of these things matter right now to Little Juniper June, who has chosen thirty three things to download by the time her parents descend the staircase in their matching bathrobes. She pushes away from the computer, her eyes bleary and bloodshot, and finds her way into the kitchen. Her father is making a pot of coffee.

“Merry Christmas, Juniper,” he says.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy.”

“Did Jolly Old Saint Rick bring you anything nice?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. More things than I could have ever asked for.”

“Good, good,” he replies, sitting down to open the paper. “And when do you think I’ll be able to check my email?”