While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
Read the full story »
Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Merry Christmas! This year, we want to thank you for giving Hardcasual the greatest gift of all: your loyal readership. (We love you, Holland!) We couldn’t afford to buy you anything – we blew our holiday budget on that E3 party none of you fucks showed up to – so here’s a Christmas card sent to us from our dear friends, The Schuffs. They really love to LARP.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Noby Noby Boy is about the impracticality of a third party in the American political system, and how it’s unfair. See, the BOY is like the Republicans, and the Democrats, and then GIRL is the higher cause of… What? Shit, man, watching this dude eating has got me hungry. Wait, what time is it?
But Quizno’s Pays Minimum Wage!: Buy three games that your Xbox Live friends have already had for over a month.
Maive, a blind elderly woman who lets Sephiroth sleep on her couch in exchange for his protection against a neighborhood gang of rascals, says that the music helps her gauge Sephiroth’s mood. “He seems like such a nice boy, but he has quite a temper.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.