World of Warcraft Watch 12.21.09
Monday, December 21, 2009
Undercity, 2:11 GMT
Rikspig, a reanimated corpse, had to patiently explain to his Voidwalker why he had, for years, told it that Greatfather Winter was real.
While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Undercity, 2:11 GMT
Rikspig, a reanimated corpse, had to patiently explain to his Voidwalker why he had, for years, told it that Greatfather Winter was real.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
I wish I didn’t have to rely on such a public forum to express my concerns with the way you run the Brood, but my repeated attempts to meet with you in your royal chrysalis at the top of Mount Carkrax were nixed by an Overlord with a zealot up his creep-sack.
This week brings the 2009 Tokyo Game Show, and with it an assortment of rumors, speculation, and Western journalists remarking about how wacky Tokyo is. We thought we’d share a few of the rumors that have come across our desks in the past few days.
Mrs. Henderson wasn’t the first to make a move, sexually. Ms. Viola had filled Pit’s locker with naked Polaroids, close-up pictures of her nether-regions trimmed in the shape a Mirror Shield. Even Mr. Dyer had begun watching him during those long walks from gym shower to gym locker.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.