While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Someone must have pummeled us with a hardcover copy of Atlas Shrugged while we were sleeping, because we’re waking to a world gone coo-coo over Bioshock 2. Sure, we’re all excited to dive headfirst into a fishbowl of failed Objectivism, but why do none of the previews make mention of Ken Levine’s shocking inspiration for the Big Sister?
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
If we’d a rolled over and let all y’all egghead senators and…uh…congressionals…trample our second amendment rights, do you think we’d a lived as long as we have? Hell no! I mean, I can beat down a few sons’a’bitches with this here guitar, but a whole city-full? Boy, that’d a been hell on my arms.
Dynasty Warriors says: fighting with a small army under your command is no different from fighting with a large one: it is merely a question of whether or not you have another fifteen minutes to blow before dinner.
If in 2012 the American public wants to rewind and watch the Bush/Cheney approach once again devalue our great nation, Sarah Palin is an apt, if aggressive candidate. But if what they want is a power forward with an inhuman mid-range jumper, vote Malone. Karl Malone.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.