Without another word, he’s back at a new machine, and as we stared, confused, in his direction, we could make out his muttered “oh, the action is fast on this one” and “I haven’t played pinball since Rhonda got pregnant and ruined my life.” We looked at each other – Mom’s name isn’t Rhonda. Rick, my older brother, starts to cry, too.
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Holy shit, the new Modern Warfare 2 maps are going to be $15. $15 for idiots to lecture us, then teabag us. $15 for decreased Google-ability for our friend the Cod. At least it wasn’t $15 that mom spent on another copy of Modern Warfare: Reflex.
Japan still makes video games? We thought that was just a myth, you know, like the nude code. Today marks the Japanese release of Final Fantasy XIII, go figure. Famitsu calls it “The best game you will ever play written by a fourteen-year-old girl.” In related news, this week also sees Aeiris Gainsborough release her 8th posthumous materia.
A Wells Fargo in Tallahassee, Florida
Carmen SanDiego spotted… wait a second… she was just right there… Goddammit. Cue the music.
The middle stall of EA Redwood Studio’s 3rd floor men’s room was for a long time the secondary office of Alex Doe, Senior Copyeditor and the man who signed off our company’s box art for a living. Any other employee at any other employer would have been ashamed to spend full afternoons lounging in the loo, but Alex took pride in what it was he did and where it was he did it.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS? – 20 Points – You were connected with five women in a row.
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET – 50 Points – A woman stopped her pathological “next”-clicking to ask you whether you wanted to see her practice her striptease routine.
“Then why aren’t you kids having fun? Don’t you like games anymore?”
Alex, the birthday boy, who no one had seen or heard approaching the table, spoke up in his loudest voice, “YEAH, LIKE FARMVILLE!” The Mitchell family jumped in their seats, as if startled by a gunshot. “I DON’T LIKE PLAYING THOSE GAMES BECAUSE YOU DON’T GET ACHIEVEMENTS OR ANYTHING SO NO ONE KNOWS HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT THEM.”
The Dragonblight, 3:44 GMT
While traversing across some of the most boring, desolate landscape he’d ever seen in his life, Gulthin Esperwind wondered whether it was time to give up the whole adventuring thing and go into his father’s business: flight mastering.