While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Half a thousand people were arrested today while protesting the climate talks in Copenhagen. While we agree that something must be done to prevent any more rapid Glacius loss,we have to object to meaningless property damage and violence. They could learn a thing or two from the American Metalworker Union, who continue their peaceful protest of the Dwarven free trade agreement.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
This morning I was buying some bombs at the store, and as I’m checking out, the owner gives me this big smile and says, “Here you go, Mr. Zelda” and hands me my bag. What do I do? I don’t say anything, because what good is correcting the guy going to do? It’s not like he’s going to hop on his horse and ride around Hyrule, telling people that the name of the guy who saved his ass from Ganon twenty times is Link. The guy probably hasn’t left his village his whole life, the hick.
1. Professor Layton and the Curious Shire
2. Cooking Mama: Turkish Kebab
3. Guitar Hero: British Empire Tour
4. Call of Duty: Maginal Line
5. Civilization: Apartheid
“As I understand Freud, dreams are just small concerns of the day made into images that point to deeper desires and fears. But I work in a bank. I can’t imagine what goes through my mind at work that would make me dream of a tree with a boner nose making me swallow apples and spit them back at his face.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.