Two combatants enter the ring. They toss their gloves to the ice and raise their fists in the air. With the black backdrop behind them, they look like the survivors of the apocalypse, two blocky marionettes engaged in the oldest art form known to man: pugilism. Their banners wave, brightly lit in the empty air around them.

“I’m going to knock your ass out,” says Peter, gripping the N64 controller in his hand. “Then we can go meet Whitney and see Titanic.” He’s lanky, with bright red lips and a fresh buzz cut.

“No hurry, dude. She’s seen it twelve times already,” replies Aaron, Peter’s best friend. He’s short, pudgy, dressed in his favorite hoodie. They sit on the ground with their backs against Peter’s bed, surrounded by Dungeons and Dragons Handbooks.

The combatants throw their first round of punches. Why do they fight? Because the man in red and white has been shamed one too many times by the one in forest green. The man in green is pummeled into submission. The crowd goes wild.

“Fucked you up!” Peter shouts. He rises from the couch and tosses the controller to the ground. “Okay. Let’s go. I want to hit Krispy Kreme on the way.”

“One more,” Aaron says, his gaze focused on the screen. “This Madcatz controller is stupid.”

Peter sighs. He looks at the television screen. The 3rd period of the game has begun. There are no points on the board, because they’ve been fighting the whole time. “But we’ll have to play more hockey.”

“Just keep checking my dude.”

Peter picks up his sticks and the two spend a minute checking each other as hard as they can. The puck, a circle of flickering rainbow, lies unused in the area behind the net. Aaron sings “Uninvited” a capella as his character boosts across the rink, colliding headfirst into Peter’s.

Finally, the fight begins. Yet again, the world around them disappears. Health bars pop up on both sides of the screen. The gloves have quite literally come off and only one of these players is going to come out with their dignity intact.

Peter wins again, but his victory is an empty one. They’re going to have to skip Krispy Kreme in order to make it to the AMC on time. Aaron takes the time to wrap up his controller, as if to show what a great sport he is.

The two get in Peter’s Corolla and listen to Cake on the radio.

You’re never there, you’re never there, you’re never ever ever ever there.

They drive through the McDonalds across the street from the elementary school they went to, because it’s on the way. Aaron looks out the window at the kiddies playing on the jungle gym and asks Peter if he thinks his computer can handle that new Starcraft game everyone in 2nd period Trig is talking about.

After the movie, when Leo has died and the jewel has been thrown into the ocean, Peter and Aaron drive back to Peter’s house. They raid the fridge and flip through old National Geographics.

“Want to play Tactics?” Peter asks.

“Nah.”

“Tekken 3?”

“That’s okay.”

“Wayne Gretzky?”

Aaron smiles and nods, his ego healed. Peter pops the 64 on and the two proceed to check the hell out of each other. The color commentary repeats the same key phrases over and over, a bit confused as to why no one is actually playing any hockey. When the inevitable fight begins, Peter and Aaron rise to their feet to mash on the buttons as fast as they can.

This is 1998. Bill Clinton was president, El Nino was the word on everyone’s lips, and the fighting in Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey made the hockey parts feel completely unnecessary.