World of Warcraft Watch 12.7.09
Monday, December 7, 2009
Scarlet Raven Tavern, 01:52 GMT
Innkeeper Trelayne considered expanding the stables to accommodate all the weird shit people are riding these days.
While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Scarlet Raven Tavern, 01:52 GMT
Innkeeper Trelayne considered expanding the stables to accommodate all the weird shit people are riding these days.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
I wish I didn’t have to rely on such a public forum to express my concerns with the way you run the Brood, but my repeated attempts to meet with you in your royal chrysalis at the top of Mount Carkrax were nixed by an Overlord with a zealot up his creep-sack.
Halo: I’m the Master Chief. Chief, not chef. It’s a military rank. I know he was in the army, Grandma. I’ve seen his purple heart. This is nothing like Normandy. This is on Earth way in the future. That’s Cortana. She doesn’t have to wear clothes. Because she lives in my head, Grandma. Just like you lived in Grandpa’s head when he was killing the Nazis.
“One more fight,” Aaron says, his gaze focused on the screen. The 3rd period of the game has begun. There are no points on the board, because they’ve been fighting the whole time. “But we’ll have to play more hockey,” Peter complains. “Just keep checking my dude,” Aaron says.
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.