While most gamers are all too familiar with the Super Mario Bros., few remember the enigmatic Fantastic Steve Cousins. Accompanied by his cousin, Ralph, Fantastic Steve led players on a magical journey through the Sausage Fiefdom. When the Mario Bros. soared to fame a few years later, Fantastic Steve sued the plumber for stealing his act. Unfortunately, Fantastic Steve was found dead before the trial began, leading to further speculation on Mario’s involvement with La Cosa Nostra.
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Well, shit. We’ve got iPad fever. The thing may be the cure to everything that’s wrong with our lives, but we must remember our conflicted relationship with the iPhone. For one, it didn’t get us laid. Then, we lost our jobs because of DoodleJump. And third… wait, what’s this 40 minute long voicemail I just got from my dad?
Bad news today for Barack Obama, whose approval rating dropped below 50% for the first time ever. If only he had attacked for massive damage when he found the glowing weak spot of the financial crisis. That said, we remain confident he won’t pull a Bush and ragequit over the poll results.
In front of the Apple Store
Everyone you know is trying not to make eye contact with you.
Tank no vote in election. Tank too busy writing ‘HELP’ on roof of building to vote. Tank no scared of much, but tank wary of big government, unless big government use helicopter to save tank when he stranded on roof. But that no happen.
How did I, Cliff Blezinski, become CliffyB? Kitchen-squats. And when Cliffy B didn’t bed a dozen women a night, what’d he do? Juiced pheromones out of dominant apes and slurped them like a friggin Diet Soda. Cliffy B takes action. So when folks get upset about New Games Journalism, the Cliffster fixes it.
“It’s all part of the job,” Mr. Dig Dug said. “I’m finding shit down there all the time. Time capsules, pirate booty, spaceships – you name it, I’ve found it. I found a dinosaur once. It was alive.”
Mulgore, 9:33 GMT
Roggie and Siri Two-Moons sat on top of a hill and watched the clouds for two hours before realizing that they were actually plumes of smoke, and that an Alliance raid had destroyed Orgrimmar.