Pundits across party lines were outraged today by a negative ad campaign against United States Presidential candidate Senator Walker Perry claiming that all hitherto official stories of playing the Call of Duty games were exaggerated and some outright fabricated.

The accusation, which has been cooking in political and videogame blogs for weeks, boiled over this week when Senator Perry, while playing Modern Warfare 2 with a sickly child at a leukemia fundraiser asked the a body guard how to invert the controls. “Make it more like Descent,” said Senator Perry.

Under incredible pressure from the public, Senator Perry held a small, private meeting with the press at his private estate, confessing he had “never served anytime as a Flag Runner,” but did spend a couple months after college playing the story modes in a “really great Coast Guard game.”

Critics of Mr. Perry wasted no time voicing their opinions:

“It spits in the face of all those gamers who voluntarily gave up their lives to constantly play this online phenomenon,” says Pvt. C0rnh0lio69, “It’s like he never served!  If he hasn’t been on a 25 enemy kill streak, how will he ever know to hit left on the d-pad to launch our tactical nuke perk and win the match?!”

“May I be the first to nominate MustLoveDog23?  He served his time, headset and all, and he has the record to prove it!  He’s won nearly every Prestige Mode medal!  What has Mr. Perry won? A couple achievements in BioShock. ”

Senator Perry claims his multiple years as a National Laser Tag Champion also benefit him as a potential Commander in Chief.

“What’s at stake here is the senator’s credibility,” says GravyGuy64 “What about his stories of ‘super-sick moments calling in air strikes’ and ‘knifing bros?’ Lies! All lies! We want our President to be a sociopathic virtual murderer.  That’s what he promised us in his campaign!”

“I know that I never served active duty online,” Perry said at his press conference this afternoon, “but I did win a Purple Heart for my service in the Gulf War.”

“Gulf War?!” says Pvt. C0rnh0lio69, “I stabbed my neighbor in the back just to get a flag back to some arbitrary spot.  What did he do?… Really, what did he do in the Gulf War? I was born in 1994.”

Additional reporting from Hardcasual’s own Daniel Wilbur.