Don’t let mainstream media brainwash you with their half-truths about Modern Warfare 2. Yes, the game  features a scene in which the player can (but doesn’t have to!) shoot civilians in an airport; however, in-game context proves developer Infinity Ward to be making an insightful, necessary point about terrorism and I’ll explain after you suck my balls, faggot.

Bitch.

See, fashioning a fictional act of terrorism that plucks our real life fears has hitherto been the stuff of post-9/11 authors and auteurs, doctors and documentarians. That’s why I predict, with its record setting sales, Modern Warfare 2 will act as an ambassador for video games as art, cathartic dramas, commentaries of our time, portals for human interaction in which you can gobble my nob like it’s a matza ball you fucking Jew.

Gobble-gobble, turkey ass bitch.

The public flogging of Modern Warfare 2 is just another example of mainstream media sacrificing earnest, nose to the grind stone coverage for lazy, just add water controversy. This wouldn’t have happened in the golden age of journalism—you know, before they hired all these niggers to cover basketball. What, you got a problem with the way I speak? Yeah, leave a comment, pussy ass bitch. I’ll come to your house and pop your momma’s ass.

Ratatatat, ratatat.

Modern Warfare 2 is more than a controversial single-player campaign. Its multiplayer mode is the perfect outlet for competitive gamers and also features the necessary materials – namely headsets and identity concealing user IDs – to culture my vernacular. It’s a forum for poet’s like myself, not poet’s like you, you Walt Whitman wannabe limp dick.

There’s also spec-ops, the coop mode. I play spec-ops with my friend, Jeffrey — no-homo.

It’s a game that expands our thoughts on globalism, militarism and the need for a real bro. Because bitches B Bitches 4 Life.

I wouldn’t be championing this if I didn’t believe in it.  I’m its biggest fan.

A Hardcasual Editorial by Lucas Sims, “MrSi6tyNi9e.”