Everyone Else Went Tubing
Spend 50 hours or more playing games in one weekend.

Sausage Test
Have no female friends on Xbox Live.

Spoiler: The Yankees Win
Play a previous season’s sports game.

But Quizno’s Pays Minimum Wage!
Buy three games that your Xbox Live friends have already had for over a month.

Maybe You Should Buy a Wii
Take twice as long to beat three games as a normal XBox gamer.

Who Wants a Body Massage?
Pleasure yourself to climax with XNA vibration app.

Crisis Hotline
Accidentally kill yourself in every game you own.

The Lost and the DebtPurchase The Lost and the Damned or The Ballad of Gay Tony without having finished Grand Theft Auto 4.

Dos!
Celebrate UNO victory and make number two over Xbox Live Vision Cam.

Basement Leech
Pay for over three games with a parent’s credit card.

Sleeping on the Couch Again?
Log a play session between 3 AM and 5 AM.

Friends Are For the Weak
Play a single-player game on a Friday night.

Red Ring of Denial
Log more than five under-two-minute play sessions hoping your Xbox won’t red ring again this time.