I, Okami, goddess of the Sun, am here to stop demonic forces from spreading darkness along these beautiful plains.  I, the last hope for preserving nature’s ever-present and gentle force, have now taken the form of the white wolf Amaterasu in order to help put an end to the reawakened 8-headed beast Orochi, whom I fought 100 years ago-

*sniff*

Oh, sorry.  I thought-

Nevermind.

With the help of my spritely artist-friend Issun, we shall use my celestial brush not merely to repaint this landscape as a testament to what it once was, but as a warning that no demonic presence will ever be welcome on Earth’s hallowed ground!

No sitar-playing evil-doer shall escape our sight!  No bongo-wielding polluter will stop us from freeing our kindred animals from the yoke of-

*sniff* Is that…ooooo!  Smells like-

*sniff*  I don’t see anyone cooking anything…

By the might of the constellations, and the blossoming flowers beneath my paws, I shall rid this world of Orochi’s evil, one minion at a time-

*sniff* Oh my GOD, is that…?

*sniffsniffsniff* It IS!  IT’SSSSSSS  BACON! YUMYUMYUMYUM!  Yummy Yum yum!   Bacon!  Bacon! Where’s the bacon?  Only one thing smells like Bacon and that’s BACONNNNN!  GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME!

What’s that?  Roll over?  OK.  Then what?  Give you a paw? But you’re an evil spirit, and I…OH MY GOD…That’s YOUR bacon?  I’d LOVE SOME BACON!  I know I was baring my teeth earlier, but it’s just that I was hungry.

PLEASE, PLEASE!!!  I WANT BACON!  I NEED BACON!  Look, I can stand on my hind legs!  I can speak! ‘Woof…Bacon, please.’  Heheh, just kidding, but I would love some bacon.

…Please, gimme what’s in the bag!  Chewy yummy smokey BACON!  I can draw a circle with my brush and make the sun come out!  I can even make a bomb or fix a bridge if you just give me one piece of bacon…What?!

OHBOY,OHBOY,OHBOY,OHBOY!  NUMNUMNUMNUMNUM!  IT’S BACONNNNNN!

Additional reporting from Hardcasual’s own Daniel Wilbur.