Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2’s new trailer revealed a few surprising details about the highly-anticipated FPS’s campaign – not the least of which is the revelation that the game will take players into a Washington DC assailed by terrorist attacks. While most gamers responded with “OMG BONARS” and “LULZ TEABAGGERS,” we wondered how the graphic destruction of our nation’s capital might affect more sensitive players, who could be put off by the game’s treatment of historic landmarks and the near-holy houses of government of our great nation.

One group unexpectedly affected by the news was a local terrorist cell, whose leader, Rasool ur Ra’ahmah, has been helping us boost our gamerscore recently on a few multiplayer achievements. Rasool spoke to us late last night about what seeing Washington DC’s destruction in a game yet again meant to him.

Hardcasual: Well, Rasool, this has got to be quite a shock for you.

Rasool: A shock? Well, let’s face it – I’m usually the one used to giving the shocks. Except for if I get sent down to Guantanamo – I suppose I’ll be the one getting the shocks, then, right? [laughter]

Hardcasual: Hope you don’t mind a battery to the nuts, Rasool. [laughter]

Rasool: No, no, I kid. I kid. No, the real shock for me was how bored I felt. I mean, you don’t really expect a terrorist leader to get a real sense of ennui upon seeing the infidel government fall to pieces under a hail of bullets and missiles – but I’ll be damned if when that trailer came on in the middle of Sunday Night Football, I didn’t just say – “seeeeeeeeen it.” I mean, what, do they think we never played Fallout 3?

Hardcasual: So you’re saying you think that Infinity Ward may have been going back to the well a little bit on the Modern Warfare 2 plot?

Rasool: I mean, I don’t want to knock the guys – I’m sure they’re solid dudes. But let’s face it – we’ve been seeing the White House blown up just about annually since Jeff Goldblum hopped that plane in Independence Day. And I spent at least 80 hours wandering around a blown-up Washington DC last winter in Fallout – I mean, show me something I haven’t seen. A good terrorist loves the element of surprise, not just some striking visual image of a half-fucked Washington Monument.

Hardcasual: Well, what would you have done in Infinity Ward’s shoes?

Rasool: Ha! Silly infidel – you can’t get me to tip my hat that easily. I’m just saying – what about a nice game in the ruins of Indianapolis, or perhaps sex-crazed, godless San Francisco? There are so many places it would be great to see burned to ruins, am I right? I dream at night about deathmatching in the banking houses of Chicago.

Hardcasual: Well, Rasool, I don’t want you to say too much – who else am I gonna find to waste three hours getting the co-op achievements on Root Beer Tapper with me if you’re locked up again?

Rasool: I know that’s right. Death to America!

Hardcasual: Keep on keepin’ on.

Tragically, after the publication of this interview, Rasool was arrested for a plot to destroy several major landmarks – interestingly, all of which he had specified were “hipper and more now” and “a little off the beaten path.” Most tellingly, his final note, which just said, “Williamsburg??? (too played out??? maybe during an MGMT show?!?)”, shows that Rasool continued to bring a curator’s eye to his projects up until the very end.