This week brings the 2009 Tokyo Game Show, and with it an assortment of rumors, speculation, and Western journalists remarking about how wacky Tokyo is. We thought we’d share a few of the rumors that have come across our desks in the past few days.

10. SEGA Announces Yakuza 4 Will Arrive Everywhere but US

9. 5000 Reporters Go into Epileptic Fits at Mention of Last Guardian

8. Some RPG Announced that the Japanese People Seem Excited About

7. Microsoft to Buy EA, Laugh Maniacally for Hours on End

6. Wii Price Dropped to $200, Remote Price Raised to $80

5. Tokyo Fans Wait on Line for Hours to Play Tokyo Subway Sim 2010

4. American Journalist Finds Single-use Real Doll Difficult to Dispose of

3. Garnett Lee Extols Virtues of Bidet in Drunken Shinjuku Haze

2. Sony Presser Interrupted by Level 2 Mothra Attack

1. American Male Nerd Crushes on Half of Japanese Population