It’s the first day of school in Little Rock, Arkansas, and Jeremy Westing can already tell this year is going to be different. He’s got some awesome new t-shirts from Urban Outfitters, he’s got a killer G.I. Joe lunchbox, and he’s ready to talk about the awesome video game he’s been spending the last weeks of summer with: Shadow Complex. After breathlessly telling his mom over and over about how cool Shadow Complex was, how crazy that foam gun is, and how hard it is to beat that one spider-bot when you’re trying to do a speedrun, he’s sure he’s going to be the coolest kid on the playground, and that Billy Druber is finally going to realize that he’s actually not such a loser after all.

In fact, the first few hours of school are torture – long, boring lectures from the teacher about how this year is different, how fourth grade means that you’re finally going to be gearing up for middle school, and that middle school is a totally different world. The only difference that he can tell is that now all the girls are about a foot taller, and some of them are totally starting to get boobs. One of them was wearing a bra, even, because he totally saw the strap under her shirt and it was black, which must mean she’s like a slut. He wonders if she’s having sex or something.

But then the bell finally rings, and everyone files out to the playground in the least organized fashion possible. The gym teacher, who’s somehow even fatter than he was last year, tosses balls out to the kids, but Jeremy walks right by them – today, he’s not going to wait to be last picked in basketball, or to awkwardly try to play tetherball with the girls. Today, he walks up to Billy Druber and his super-cool friends, who are already talking about what he knows must be Shadow Complex, because it’s the most awesome game in, like, ever.

Jeremy waits for a second, as he catches snippets of the conversation from the fringes – “… stealth takedowns are totally awesome…” “I got the best time on my leaderboard in the challenges…” “That grappling hook totally blows, you gotta wait until you get the super grappling hook, man!” – and, seizing a brief break in the conversation, steps in with what he’s sure will blow them away.

“Hey-guys-I-know!!-Shadow-Complex-IS-awesome-isn’t-it-how-about-that-part-where-everything-blows-up!!!-I-mean-did-you-get-the-shotgun-before-that-because-if-you-don’t-you-can’t-get-100%-I-did-there’s-an-achievement-what’s-your-gamertag-because-mine’s-JeremyAWESOME5050—”

Blank stares. Billy Gruber regards him for a second with a look that might be awe, or might just be… Jeremy’s not sure. But he still wears a huge grin across his face and his wide-open eyes are ready for any glimmer of the acceptance he’s sure he’s finally merited. After what seems like an eternity, Billy Gruber finally turns to Jeremy and says the words: “We’re talking about Arkham Asylum, faggot. Shadow Complex is so two weeks ago.”

The cool kids around Billy burst into laughter. Josh Todd, who must weigh 200 pounds, easy, can barely choke out, “Shadow Complex! Look at that little loser, talking about last week’s game. Couldn’t your mommy afford a pre-order for Arkham Asylum with all the money she gets for sucking dicks?” Fred Buskirk, who’s black but he’s totally adopted, so Jeremy’s not sure if it counts, shouts, “I bet this little bitch ain’t even got a PS3. You ever heard of Joker challenge maps? They’re tight. Totally tight.”

As Jeremy’s head hangs low, little Ian Beier, who can’t weigh 80 pounds soaking wet, walks up to the group. “Hey guys, you played Halo 3: ODST yet? My nephew who works at GameStop brought it to me. It’s totally awesome, there’s this shotgun that you can shoot the big guys with and it goes BLAM MOTHERFUCKERS and I played online with this French guy and I totally teabagged him.”

The group looks at Ian with collective awe, as Jeremy realizes he’s missed his chance. Maybe next year. He slinks away, his mind already drifting to the indignities due over another year at P.S. 120. He dreamed that night about one day being a real big-time game blogger, where people would always be interested in what he had to say, and he would never be stuck worrying about dealing with what other guys were playing. He knew that one day, if he just tried hard enough, he could do it.