There’s almost as much smoke as there is laughter in the air down in Mo Bling’s basement tonight. Five high-ranking West Side Crips are present for the gang’s weekly territory meeting.

They all hunched over on black leather sofas, basking in the glow of a 19” high-definition flatscreen, smoking dope shit and busting a gut over their homie Lil Coop trying to drive a stolen cop car through a crowd of people.

Damn, they loving this Grand Theft Auto 4 game. It’s funny shit, Cuzz. If only they could pull this shit off in real life without the fuckin’ cops raining on their parade all night and all day. Oh well. Brotha can dream.

“Yo, punch that nigga on the bike,” Marlon says. He cackles when Lil Coop does it. “Take the fuckin’ bike now. Ride that shit. Ride that shit!”

In case you’re wondering, the game fell off a truck. It found its way up the ladder to Magnet, who popped it in the system for the first time a couple months ago – you know, that glowy green X one – and suggested that Lil Coop give it a whirl.

The guys were a lil hesitant at first, since they never really warmed up to that gay Guitar Hero bullshit. But after the first pedestrian fell to Niko Bellic’s big fat Serbian baseball bat, they were forever in love.

In fact, these motherfuckers are loving on this game so much that they’ve totally forgotten about the shit they’re supposed to do to keep this 7,000 member gang running.

Rapping? Fuck that, man. Who wants to think about all them lyrics and shit when we could be blasting at the FBI with a sawed-off shotgun in an abandoned casino?

Peddling crack? That’s old-school bullshit. The only reason they ever sold that shit was so that they could buy a fucking helicopter. Boom! Look at that. Cuzz is flying a helicopter and get this, motherfucker got a gatling gun attached to it.

Killing Bloods? Yeah. We should probably do some of that. Can’t let them get all uppity on us. But good luck finding ‘em, Cuzz. Kids gonna have to dive real deep to get at them. You know they all playing this shit too.

There’s a knock at the door and Darnell comes in lookin’ all important and shit. “Yo, we just got shot at upstairs and you guys didn’t seem to hear shit. What the fuck you all so vested in?”

Everyone laughs at Darnell.  What he don’t know is that pretty soon all that bullshit is gonna be over with anyway so he might as well plop his ignorant ass down on the couch. Pretty soon there won’t be no more warfare on the streets. There won’t be no more drive-bys, at least none that aren’t digital.

You know why, Cuzz? Cause we’ll all be Crips, we’ll all be Bloods, we’ll all be Niko Bellic.