My favorite parts of World War II involved zombies.

Many people like tanks and flamethrowers, but they are wrong to like those thing. When you read this I hope you like zombies too.

For people who don’t know, World War II was a battle between America and the Nazis. America won the battle quick like, because that’s how they do things.

But the Nazis came back! Before they had died they ate a secret diet of brains, which transformed their dead bodies into zombies – strong zombies!

(If Nazis were like Charmanders, Nazi Zombies were like Charizards. They were bigger, and meaner and they breathed fire! ROOOOOOOARRRRRR!)

Luckily for America, a man named BJ Blazkowicz hated zombies because we was Jewish.

Jewish people and Nazis were like the Red Sox and the Yankees of 1940, but my mom says their feud was even worse. What do mom’s know?

Long story short, Blazkowicz the Jew snuck into the super secret Nazi Zombie HQ and did karate and other stuff Jewish people are trained to do against Nazis.

But it wasn’t enough! There were too many Zombie Nazis! They cornered BJ and the boss Nazi said:

“BJ Blazkowicz, were gonna eat your brains like JELLO pudding. SLUUUUUURP.”

The trick was on those Nazis. When they were busy blabbering, BJ Blazkowicz had turned on God Mode. PEW PEW!! With a blink of an eye, all the Nazi Zombies were dead! This time for good!

BJ Blazkowicz left the castle, but not before loading it up with explosive stuff, like cherry bombs and beans. So when he walked out, everything blew up and he definitely looked really cool.

The story doesn’t end there though.

There was still a battle in Japan, so the government sent BJ there. BJ said, “No.’” But he was just a soldier, so America didn’t listen.

Japan was hard on BJ. Lots of his time was wasted sitting around waiting for planes to respawn.

One day, he was sent to the biggest battle in the Pacific. It was on Iwo Jima, an island the size of a Wal-Mart parking lot.

At first, everyone thought Japan would win the Battle of Iwo Jima, because they had taken over the big hill with all the turrets and tanks.

But BJ knew tanks sucked. “What to do,” he thought while he practiced karate.

BJ figured out a brilliant tactic! Land your plane on the enemy aircraft carrier then take over their anti-aircraft weapons.  So he did it. And it worked!

BJ shot down hundreds, maybe even thousands of Japanese planes right off the runaway. Japan announced that this tactic was cheap and ruined the battle, but that was irrelevant because they were losing and losers should shut up.

There were no Japanese zombies, so the war probably won’t start again.

The end.

Sincerely,

Jason Weber