With new NPD data in last night, many game consumers are wondering how exactly the industry’s sales will bore and tire them over the next several weeks. PlayStation zealots are readying vitriolic defenses of their platform’s continually weak sales, while Xbox fanatics have prepared lengthy Kotaku comments about their platform’s potential to eclipse previous industry records. We here at Hardcasual, though, are pleased to bring you our analysis: the industry’s sales results are, in fact, at among their most boring levels in the last 5 years.

From the horribly boring Prototype taking the number one spot on the software charts, to the four incredibly tedious Wii games that somehow continued to latch onto the charts, we can confidently say that the level of ennui among the Hardcasual staff is at an all-time high. The complete lack of shock or interest to be derived from this month’s NPD charts reached industry expectations for a record 90th straight month in a row, beating industry expectations and solidly outperforming the European markets.

On the hardware side, we can safely say that this month’s numbers are about as interesting as watching paint dry. The amount of satisfaction to be gained from reading about the hardware market’s slipping sales and the continually astounding overperformance of the Nintendo DS and Wii is roughly that of being stuck in a doctor’s waiting room or elevator, and should only be read by those with extreme issues falling asleep.

Industry analyst Anita Frazier announced along with the results that “this month’s results show that even in a recession, the video game industry has the capacity to be extremely boring and uninteresting to just about anyone. We at the NPD Group are happy to release a bunch of numbers that you will almost undoubtedly not care about.”

She added, “Oh, and surprisingly, the most boring game to ever top the NPD sales charts, Wii Play, is actually absent from this month’s results, and yet the list remains just as boring as ever.” This shockingly boring turn of events has already triggered four breathless Kotaku posts, and several podcasts have called emergency sessions to discuss what promises to be yet another boring piece of uninteresting garbage.