At 1 AM this morning, Meathammer was finally made available to purchase through Steam and Xbox Live. The highly anticipated platformer, which has reportedly been in the works for over two years, is the newest game from powerhouse British development duo Phillip Tarry and Niles Kinquaid, the gents responsible for two of the biggest games of the 1990’s: Kiss of the Blood Queen and Sock Dragon 2.

The game was originally set for a January 2008 release, but was pushed back over a dozen times due to “content concerns”. A short video filmed by Phillip Tarry appeared on the game’s official website for two days last February, but it shed little light on what was taking so long.

In the video a visibly drugged Tarry claims that Meathammer will be “the best thing that anyone has ever made” and is “going to change the world” before taking a giant rip off a gravity bong and watching an episode of Full Metal Alchemist.

The wait seems to have only made gamers more excited – over six thousand Xbox Live users charged forty bucks to their fathers’ credit cards to download the game in the first hour alone.

The verdict? It’s one hell of a menu screen.

That’s right. Meathammer has no actual gameplay… yet. Tarry and Kinquaid promise that levels, weapons, and characters will all be released as downloadable content in the coming year, a strategy that is growing popular with lazy developers worldwide.

A blood-soaked title floats over a sea of beautifully rendered beef patties. A decapitated hand points to the NEW GAME, taunting us with the promise of future gameplay. The first thirty seconds of a song by Alien Ant Farm plays on loop. If these guys put so much thought into this menu screen, one can only imagine how amazing the actual game is going to be!

Niles Kinquaid explains their groundbreaking release strategy:

“People say we should have waited until we at least had a first level. Sure. We could have done that, but right now ten percent of Americans don’t have a job. That number could go down tomorrow, for all we know. God forbid. We consider ourselves risktakers, but that’s one risk we weren’t willing to take.”

And what will the first update add?

“Uh, well. Probably the main character, which Phil is working on while his kids are at school. You play as a guy who has a giant hammer. Maybe you can play as a girl, too. And there might be more weapons than just the hammer.  And we’re still toying with the idea of making it an MMORPG. The sky’s the limit, really. Look out.”